This is how it all started. One evening, after I put my 3 months old baby to sleep, I just felt something. Something very strong, so strong that I had to share it with my best friend. I wrote her an instant message that was too long for the format used. I just squeezed it all into the longest text message ever. Importantly, I realised that I felt even happier than before. Here is what I wrote:
“You know what? Remember I told you that, in the beginning, when Lucas was born, I was not really so crazy about him. It was not the love from the first sight that everyone talks about. I was scared about not having these feelings of love for my little baby boy. Of course I loved him, but I didn’t know him really yet. Then, a couple of months later, I slowly started to fall in love… It was not yet THAT “big bang” love, but rather a longing to see him and a curiosity about his next movements. I was very reasonable, sober and rational about him. Because he is a person and I had not really got to know him yet at that point.
But now, ….. I don’t know what happened, maybe it’s the fact he is reacting and chatting and smiling etc, but I am soooooo crazy in love with him!!!! I don’t remember the last time I have ever been so in love. It’s very similar feeling to a man that you love. It’s so great and overwhelming. It’s literally like those times when I was in love with Michael and now Lucas is his little version. (Of course I’m still in love with Michael too)… It’s not just loving someone but really being in love… When you get butterflies and your heart beating strong and it seems as you on cloud nine.
Can’t get enough of Lucas… Of course I can relax in the evening when he sleeps and I can have some “me time”, but the feeling of being in love is soooo strongly in my mind. I feel like a better person. And I feel like a happier person…”.
If this feeling doesn’t come to your baby immediately: when you get pregnant or when you give birth, that’s perfectly normal. You are a mother and will always be a mother.
The birth of a baby is such a miracle that it is just difficult to fully grasp and understand this concept… that in just 9 months there is a new little person coming to meet you and unconditionally love you.